I’ve found that when I see someone a lot, they start looking like an animal. Sometimes it can be a certain physical feature that bares resemblance, other times it's just something they do that sets off a trigger. Eventually I spend so much time focusing on it that it engulfs the image I have of them; like Kevin Garnett for instance.
The other night, while watching him follow up a sweet baby hook over Josh Smith with his usual F-Bomb trot, I realized he reminded me of a wolf. The most obvious association would be his career in Minnesota, and the endless highlights we’ve seen of him screaming with that teal and black Timberwolf on his chest. But the analogy works on more than one level.
Physically, he’s got the look. He has a long, ripped, scraggly dark body, a goatee that looks like it’s made of steel wool, and piercing eyes that could turn anyone’s Fruit-of-the Looms into a fudge factory with a passing glance. I actually saw one game where he prowled down the court on defense, crawling backwards with his hands on the floor just staring and growling at the point guard (Needless to say this image was only bad ass and horrifying because it was KG. Substitute Scal in the same instance and I’m still on the ground laughing a year later). My buddy Kev and I just looked at each other with our jaws dropped, wondering how this guy could get any more intense. He looked like a wolf backing into the woods after an attack, emaciated yet strong, hungry, not blinking his yellow eyes and waiting for you to follow him so he can tear your skin off and take you back to his den (I just got a chill down my spine).
He’s always howling up at the rafters like a wolf might do to the moon, and I love how for some reason, the networks haven't caught on that every other phrase out of his mouth starts with F and rhymes with duck, so every time they show his face after a big play he’s always prefacing these F-ducks with the words “mother” and/or ending them with another obscenity.
What’s even better is that half the time he’s screaming it into one of his teammate’s ears and pushing them around like a wolf plays with his baby pups. Can you imagine the shock of everyone on the team during their first practice, when rather than getting a hard slap on the ass after throwing it down they got an earful of love with words they still can’t say in front of their mother? That must have taken some getting used to.
His looks and demeanor aren’t even the only resemblance. You can’t find a better analogy than comparing his role to Harvey Keitel’s in Pulp Fiction. Can’t you just hear him introducing himself to Danny Ainge before being signed: “I’m Winston Wolf. I solve problems.” And what about these other instances:
Garnett walks into Ainge’s office and sees him standing there with Doc Rivers, both of them covered with the brains and blood of their dying franchise:
KG: “You must be Jules, which would make you Vincent. Let's get down to brass tacks, gentlemen. If I was informed correctly, the clock is ticking, is that right?”
Danny and Doc: “Uh…one hundred percent”
KG: “Now, you've got a corpse in a car, minus a head, in a garage. Take me to it.”
Or what about when he comes over to the sideline and barges his way into the huddle:
KG: “Boys, get to work.”
Big Baby: “A please would be nice.”
KG: “Come again?”
Big Baby: “I said a please would be nice.”
KG: “Get it straight buster - I'm not here to say please, I'm here to tell you what to do and if self-preservation is an instinct you possess you'd better f***ing do it and do it quick.”
Big Baby then runs away crying, after which Garnett addresses the rest of the team:
KG: “If I'm curt with you it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast and I need you guys to act fast if you wanna get out of this. So, pretty please... with sugar on top. Clean the f***ing car.”
I can see it - and if it went anything like that I can understand why Big Baby went back to his seat like he was a 3-year-old and KG had just pissed on his Lego's.
In my lifetime I’ve never seen someone play with such animalistic intensity, (I might have made that word up) which is weird because if you just saw his press conferences and never saw him on the court you’d assume he was a shy, antisocial guy who doesn’t like to talk. It’s almost like he gets in this zone on the court and just blacks out of reality, but every time he gets back in the locker room he snaps back into it and realizes how crazy he just acted – almost like waking up the morning after having one more beer than you should have. Then when he gets up to the interview table he wraps his neck with a towel, puts his head down, rubs the top of his head and talks quietly, as if trying to get over the emotional ecstacy he just put himself through for a few hours.
KG leaves his heart on the hard wood by the end of every game, and that passion has no doubt resonated not only within the team, but among all Celtics fans. You’d be hard pressed not to smile and get electrified watching the pregame videos and light shows where he screams at you from a thirty foot screen. Every time I see it I want to get up and do push-ups until it hurts.
Calling him a dog or a beast wouldn’t give him enough credit. The guy’s a wolf. He’s intense, bloodthirsty, and solves problems.
Example A: Banner 17.
The other night, while watching him follow up a sweet baby hook over Josh Smith with his usual F-Bomb trot, I realized he reminded me of a wolf. The most obvious association would be his career in Minnesota, and the endless highlights we’ve seen of him screaming with that teal and black Timberwolf on his chest. But the analogy works on more than one level.
Physically, he’s got the look. He has a long, ripped, scraggly dark body, a goatee that looks like it’s made of steel wool, and piercing eyes that could turn anyone’s Fruit-of-the Looms into a fudge factory with a passing glance. I actually saw one game where he prowled down the court on defense, crawling backwards with his hands on the floor just staring and growling at the point guard (Needless to say this image was only bad ass and horrifying because it was KG. Substitute Scal in the same instance and I’m still on the ground laughing a year later). My buddy Kev and I just looked at each other with our jaws dropped, wondering how this guy could get any more intense. He looked like a wolf backing into the woods after an attack, emaciated yet strong, hungry, not blinking his yellow eyes and waiting for you to follow him so he can tear your skin off and take you back to his den (I just got a chill down my spine).
He’s always howling up at the rafters like a wolf might do to the moon, and I love how for some reason, the networks haven't caught on that every other phrase out of his mouth starts with F and rhymes with duck, so every time they show his face after a big play he’s always prefacing these F-ducks with the words “mother” and/or ending them with another obscenity.
What’s even better is that half the time he’s screaming it into one of his teammate’s ears and pushing them around like a wolf plays with his baby pups. Can you imagine the shock of everyone on the team during their first practice, when rather than getting a hard slap on the ass after throwing it down they got an earful of love with words they still can’t say in front of their mother? That must have taken some getting used to.
His looks and demeanor aren’t even the only resemblance. You can’t find a better analogy than comparing his role to Harvey Keitel’s in Pulp Fiction. Can’t you just hear him introducing himself to Danny Ainge before being signed: “I’m Winston Wolf. I solve problems.” And what about these other instances:
Garnett walks into Ainge’s office and sees him standing there with Doc Rivers, both of them covered with the brains and blood of their dying franchise:
KG: “You must be Jules, which would make you Vincent. Let's get down to brass tacks, gentlemen. If I was informed correctly, the clock is ticking, is that right?”
Danny and Doc: “Uh…one hundred percent”
KG: “Now, you've got a corpse in a car, minus a head, in a garage. Take me to it.”
Or what about when he comes over to the sideline and barges his way into the huddle:
KG: “Boys, get to work.”
Big Baby: “A please would be nice.”
KG: “Come again?”
Big Baby: “I said a please would be nice.”
KG: “Get it straight buster - I'm not here to say please, I'm here to tell you what to do and if self-preservation is an instinct you possess you'd better f***ing do it and do it quick.”
Big Baby then runs away crying, after which Garnett addresses the rest of the team:
KG: “If I'm curt with you it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast and I need you guys to act fast if you wanna get out of this. So, pretty please... with sugar on top. Clean the f***ing car.”
I can see it - and if it went anything like that I can understand why Big Baby went back to his seat like he was a 3-year-old and KG had just pissed on his Lego's.
In my lifetime I’ve never seen someone play with such animalistic intensity, (I might have made that word up) which is weird because if you just saw his press conferences and never saw him on the court you’d assume he was a shy, antisocial guy who doesn’t like to talk. It’s almost like he gets in this zone on the court and just blacks out of reality, but every time he gets back in the locker room he snaps back into it and realizes how crazy he just acted – almost like waking up the morning after having one more beer than you should have. Then when he gets up to the interview table he wraps his neck with a towel, puts his head down, rubs the top of his head and talks quietly, as if trying to get over the emotional ecstacy he just put himself through for a few hours.
KG leaves his heart on the hard wood by the end of every game, and that passion has no doubt resonated not only within the team, but among all Celtics fans. You’d be hard pressed not to smile and get electrified watching the pregame videos and light shows where he screams at you from a thirty foot screen. Every time I see it I want to get up and do push-ups until it hurts.
Calling him a dog or a beast wouldn’t give him enough credit. The guy’s a wolf. He’s intense, bloodthirsty, and solves problems.
Example A: Banner 17.
No comments:
Post a Comment